


that girl's up in the atmosphere

by silky-fsf (SilkyinaBottle)



Category: Teen Titans (Animated Series)
Genre: Canon Compliant, F/F, Femslash February 2017, First Kiss, Friends to Lovers, Getting to Know Each Other, unusual kiss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-06
Updated: 2017-02-06
Packaged: 2018-09-22 09:40:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,119
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9602096
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilkyinaBottle/pseuds/silky-fsf
Summary: What initially drew her away from Starfire is what keeps pulling her back in.





	

**Author's Note:**

> oh god writing this one was a nostalgia bomb,,,,,, i'd say it's definitely my favorite so far!! i'm still a day behind though rip
> 
> i just............. love these two so much..............
> 
> title is from "lightning" by alex goot

There are many words that could be used to describe Koriand’r (or rather, Starfire). Far too many, Raven has found. Years ago, tucked away in her room, having finished her study for the evening, she took to collecting such terms and phrases. Bright, exuberant, energetic, unusual, often nonsensical, the list went on. But above all else, Starfire was one thing:  _ overwhelming. _

She had scrawled that word in a size twice as large as the others, underlining it as if she might just forget about it the next morning. Like she really  _ could;  _ Starfire would never let her. The Tamaranean was bothering her every day, rapping on her door with a request for some “quality girl time” or a “chat between fellow teammates and friends”.

At first, she wanted nothing to do with it. She had written words like, “aggravating” and “importunate,” her pen pressing into the pages of her notebook so hard she nearly tore holes through the paper.

In retrospect, she regrets those times, more than she could ever possibly describe, but she doesn’t admit it to Starfire for a very long time. Instead, she lets her actions speak in lieu of words as she slowly grows warmer towards all of them. She starts to crack smiles at Beast Boy’s jokes, offer Robin small bits of strategy advice, and join Cyborg as he checks up the T-Car. And slowly, her interactions with Starfire become friendlier as well: soon they talk hours into the night, sharing secrets, meditating or reading side-by-side, and even laughing together.

Raven never used to laugh before. She hardly allowed herself to, for fear of how her powers would react. But Starfire makes it feel so  _ natural,  _ so right. So she allows herself a chuckle or two, in the safety of her bedroom late at night.

“Compassionate,” she writes in her notebook. “Spirited.”

Starfire warms up to the others, too. Almost too much, Raven thinks. It’s not that she doesn’t  _ want  _ Starfire spending time with the others, but she just has trouble comprehending how much social energy the other girl  _ has.  _ She never stops talking, never stops caring, never stops  _ loving  _ her fellow teammates. Raven’s not quite sure how she does it, given that she has to make some time to herself after any conversation that lasts longer than five minutes.

She grows closest to Robin, which Raven supposes should feel natural and right—they’re a teenage boy and girl, after all—but somehow it doesn’t. When the two of them kiss that night in Tokyo, Raven congratulates them with the others, because that’s what it feels like she should do. But she can’t shake the feeling that something is unmistakably  _ off,  _ like two puzzle pieces that don’t fit quite right, but have been forced together in an attempt to make the whole picture.

Later she’ll read over the words “naive” and “idealistic” and remember exactly why she wrote them.

Despite her initial seed of doubt, she believes it will last. They all do. The two of them spent all this time dancing around the subject, letting the tension build; it couldn’t just go to waste after everything they’d been through. But as the days pass by, Robin grows distant and Starfire grows weary, and that seed of doubt grows into a concrete thought. Thoughts turn into words, and before she knows it her midnight talks with Starfire stretch into the early morning hours.

Starfire confides in her, more than she ever has: about Robin, about his work, about love, about the miles and miles she feels in between them. One night she tells Raven she’s not sure Robin has ever loved her at all, and Raven can feel the air in the room grow heavier.

But Starfire doesn’t stop. Raven’s not sure she knows how. She’s by Robin’s side whenever she can manage it, wrapping her arms around him and saying sweet things to him in a bubbly coo. Even if he doesn’t love her, she loves  _ him;  _ Raven can tell.

She adds “self-sacrificing” to the list.

It’s Robin who breaks first. Raven is just gratefully he does it gently. While he’s always been full of unbridled emotion, he’s always tried his hardest not to direct it towards Starfire, and for that she is nothing if not glad. Starfire doesn’t cry, she doesn’t object, she doesn’t fight; she just accepts it, as if she knew it was coming all along. She probably did.

For a while, things seem to come to a standstill. Starfire puts on a smile, but everyone knows it’s just for show. Robin holes himself up in his room, pouring himself over his research until Beast Boy and Cyborg have to drag him out. Raven sees Starfire off to bed every night, until the light in her eyes starts to resurface.

Weeks pass. The team pulls itself back together, piece by piece. Raven finds her list getting steadily longer, until it grows at a rate she’s unable to contain. Words flow out of her and onto the page as freely as thoughts, until suddenly she finds she’s run out of pages to write in.

She takes a step back. Closes the book and opens it again. Reads it from the beginning. She reads every last word, and finds what she’s known all along: she’s in love.

The days trudge by, picking up pace slowly but surely. Raven swears time only returns to its normal speed once Starfire’s smile is genuine again. The world goes on.

Starfire asks her to go on a flight with her. She says she’s done it with Beast Boy before, but he doesn’t make for great conversation as an eagle or a pterodactyl. Raven accepts.

The world looks different from in the sky. She doesn’t think she’s ever flown so high before. She thinks for a moment that she should be scared. She’s not sure of what. Falling, maybe. But she looks at Starfire, with her hair trailing behind her and her green eyes alight, and thinks it’s a little too late for that.

Starfire meets her gaze and smiles. Raven feels a split second of deja-vu stir her stomach, and it takes her a moment to realize why. But by the time she’s figured it out, Starfire has already closed the distance between them.

The way Starfire looked at her was almost like the way she used to look at Robin.

But as Raven reaches a hand out to graze Starfire’s cheek, feeling the two of them rush higher and higher into the sky, she’s sure it’s more.

That night, in the comfort of Starfire’s bedroom, with the redhead sound asleep by her side, she writes one last word across the front of the notebook: “mine.”


End file.
